Tough Times

This past month has been tough. Rina is definitely acting up with the fact that Ben and I are back to work full-time and Béatrice, being the little monkey-see-monkey-do that she is, copies her big sister all the time. When Rina has a meltdown, Béa has one just to be like her big sister. I’m not lying. Sometimes, she whines just because Rina is whining. It makes for a very loud household and it doesn’t get any better when I lose my patience and get loud on top of them.

I’m a loner. I like my quiet time. I need some “me time” where I can recharge in the peace and quiet of my house. I like my house clean (well, as clean and orderly as it can get with two children and a husband who isn’t so bothered by messiness). I can’t sit and relax until the house is somewhat orderly.

When I have to go to work, I need my scrubs out, my lunch and dinner packed the night before in order to optimize my sleeping time. Heck, I even fill my bottle of water and put it in the fridge overnight so I don’t have to do it in the morning. That’s how organized I am.

Rina has been a wonderful toddler up until very recently. She is now acting up a lot more, talking back and kicking and screaming. I can tell my “time-out” method isn’t going to last for much longer and I’m not sure what kind of discipline I’ll use when it doesn’t. I’ll admit to resorting to screaming a lot more than I would like to lately and I’m absolutely exhausted. Exhausted because the screaming isn’t helping, it only adds up to my frustration and exhausted because that’s not the kind of parenting I want to be doing.

I spoke to Mamie today and she reassured me that it is normal to have phases when you get more tired as a parent. I find it hard when Rina keeps behaving badly (and Béatrice imitates her) and it makes me not like motherhood at times. I don’t mean that I don’t like my daughters, quite the contrary. I live and breathe for these two little persons, but sometimes, I really don’t like being a mom. The kind of mom that has to choose between discipline and teaching the rules or giving up on your child. The mom who has to make a choice between folding laundry and cleaning the house or going to the playground. The mom who caves in and feeds “fishy crackers” and “bunny noodles” once in a while so that we don’t have to fight over mealtime.

Then, there’s the guilt. I know I need time to myself, but I feel guilty when I do take the time I need by myself. It’s never ending. You’re damned if you do and you’re damned if you don’t. One thing I won’t budge on though is Crossfit. I need Crossfit as an outlet where I can be “me” for an hour a few times a week. When I’m at Crossfit, I’m not Mommy, I’m just another woman, giving the best she has to the bar, the Erg, the Airdyne or the rig. To be completely honest, that’s one of the reason I love Crossfit so much: it’s a great outlet to my everyday life frustrations and I absolutely CANNOT think about anything else than what is going on in that very second, otherwise, injury would ensue, I’m absolutely convinced of that.

So, this morning, I was selfish and I went to the box. For my physical, mental and emotional health, as well as the eel–being of my daughters! ;)

Warm-up: That was the best warm-up ever, running, but with walking intervals. My kind of running!

Skill: Back squat 6×3 E2M

I was all excited about back squats! I teamed up with Jen and Victoria and we increased with similar weight throughout the progression. Here were my reps:

  • 90#-95#-100#-100#-105#-105#

I repeated the 100# twice because I couldn’t keep my shoulders up on the up part of the squat. I also repeated the 105# twice because my last rep at 105# was ugly. I couldn’t engage my core enough to make it straight on the up for the last rep of either set at 105#. It’s ok, I have 6 weeks to work on that until we move onto the next phase of training. Reading the blog, I was happy to find out we will be working on the snatch, the back squat and the handstand pushup over the next 6 weeks. I’m particularly happy about the HSPU as it’s something I’ve been curious of trying. Let’s just hope I don’t miss too many HSPU days because of my work schedule! ;)

WOD: Labour Daze

I paired up with Victoria and Jen again for this one and although it wasn’t easy, we did well. We did the FG and my modifications were mainly for the strict pull-ups (I used the blue and red bands) and stuck to the 14# wallballs. I started on the rower and lost track of my personal scores. I think I averaged 10-12 calories/minute on the Erg, 6-8 wall balls/minute (i know it’s low, but I’m still new to the 14# wallballs and they were a killer after rowing) and between 6-8 pull-ups/minute. I was sweaty after this one and although it seemed like a good idea to get moving after my little at-home WOd from Saturday, it made my legs really sore! Can’t wait to see how I’ll be walking tomorrow… Not!

Still playing with my macronutrients and learning about eating within my macros over the next week, but I can feel things are slowly clicking. I’m a slow learning, what can I say! :)

Sunday Downtown + Making A House A Home Pt.3

The girls have been split up for a while, but Béatrice finally made her move from the crib to Rina’s toddler bed yesterday after we bought Rina her twin mattress at Costco ($200 for a Posturepedic, can’t really beat that price!) Jenn and Stu were kind enough to come help us out with Stu’s pick up so we could haul the mattress back home and in return, we gave them Béatrice’s crib to help out with their niece visiting. Win-win!

Ben made some pretty cool art-work for the girls’ bedroom door. The entire idea and concept was his. He took pictures of the girls on the beach with their names written in sand, collected small driftwood, glued the driftwood onto a frame and added pink letter for their names. Pretty awesome if I do say so myself!

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Béatrice's room, pretty much all done.

Béatrice’s room, pretty much all done.

Her "new" toddler bed

Her “new” toddler bed

Rina's room. We still need to unpack and get her furniture in

Rina’s room. We still need to unpack and get her furniture in

Missing her furniture.

Missing her furniture.

Our room. Eventually, we'll get new furniture as well.

Our room. Eventually, we’ll get new furniture as well.

The afternoon nap for the girls was pretty hectic and they barely slept with Béatrice getting out of bed a lot and going to bug Rina and by the time dinnertime rolled around, they were just miserable, impolite and down right rude to me. When Ben is around, it’s like they become these total daddy’s girls and lose complete respect and love for me. I know I should get used to it now as it probably will get worst as they get older, but it irritates me to no end that I bend myself over backwards for these little human beings and get absolutely nothing in return. Asking for a kiss and a hug is like asking for the moon and I had just about reached my limit last night. Anyway, rant over!

For the past 2 weeks, we’ve been riding our bikes downtown with the girls in their carrier and have just walked through the city, doing some mindless window shopping and entertaining the girls for free. After yesterday’s WOD at home, my glutes, quads and hamstrings could just about tolerate the light biking. The girls love the ride and walk downtown, exploring the city and we don’t have to spend a dime! Another win! Here are some pictures I took today from our little bike ride downtown:

No better toy than an empty box!

No better toy than an empty box!

Classical beauty!

Classical beauty!

Portrait taken by Rina

Portrait taken by Rina

Daddy and his girls!

Daddy and his girls!

Johnson St. bridge with some menacing clouds

Johnson St. bridge with some menacing clouds

Rina, all blamed up for her bike ride!

Rina, all glamed up for her bike ride!

BeZU, hiding in plain sight

BeZU, hiding in plain sight

Sister playing

Sisters playing

 

Karachi In The Yard

There was no way I was going to go to Crossfit yesterday after I worked all night and slept only 5hrs. However, when I looked at the WOD, I realized I had almost everything to do the whole class at home with some modifications. The only thing I was missing was our Kettlebell which my husband was kind enough to go pick up from his work place so I could do the WOD in the yard (he’s a squash pro and works out when he’s not giving lessons, so it’s not weird at all for him to show up with his KB at work! ;) )

Warm-up: I did this with a few modifications, using my 25# KB. 4 rounds of the following:

  • 6 deadlifts with the KB
  • 3 KB snatch / arm at 25#
  • 6 squats with the KB on a back rack

Mobility: everything Rx since I had all the equipment required! ;)

WOD: Karachi I did this one FG since our KB is 25#. It was short, but intense! The 1 min rest in between rounds got my legs feeling like jelly for the Taters!

First WOD behind our very own (recently repainted by the hubby) white picket fence! Feeling like a proud home owner

First WOD behind our very own (recently repainted by the hubby) white picket fence. Feeling like a proud home owner!

I had a quick shower post WOD and was hoping to get some down time while the girls are supposed to be napping, but I can hear them walking around and playing upstairs. We have just gotten BeZU into her toddler bed and Rina is on her twin mattress on the floor of her room until we get her furniture delivered. Slowly but surely, we are getting things done around the house to make it our own. We are also lucky to have found a tenant and although she has been moved in for a week now, I can only tell she’s home when I hear the dryer going, she’s so quiet! I don’t think life can get any better than this! :)

 

And Then, I Ran!!!

I was seriously considering not going to Crossfit this morning when my alarm went off at 0500. I have not been sleeping well for the past three nights, averaging 5hrs of sleep every night. I’ve been working 12hrs and coming home to super crabby baby girls who won’t go to bed before 2130 and 2230 on 2 separate nights. My usual bedtime is 2200 when I work a day shift, so that left me with no time at all to unwind coming home from work at 2000 and having to try and fight settle the girls for bed. I am beyond exhausted and I was seriously considering skipping this morning when I remembered that I’m paying for a membership, so I might as well go in order not to waste any money.

Warm-up: I did this with a 26# KB. I just couldn’t envision doing it with a 35# this morning and keeping proper body alignment. Too tired for that!

SkillNo skill today as the WOD was going to be longer.

WOD: That was a tough one.

  • Airdyne: I honestly think this machine was invented by the devil to give us a taste of hell on earth. I was teamed up with Mark (aka Coach Caleb’s dad) and Bo, 2 tall lean, mean, working machines. I decided to go first for all the rounds and I knew I was slowing them down. We also decided to do the WOD Rx so I knew I would slow us way down with the DUs, but they were ok with that. Once we were done with all 3 rounds of 0.4 on the Airdyne, it was time for the run…
  • 400m run x 3: I really wanted to take off and running, but instead, this is pretty much what happened

 

How I feel running uphill while being drunk

 

My legs felt like jelly and there was no way I could just push it, so I went out in a jog and slowly picked up the pace instead. It seemed to work as I did the first 400m without stopping for walking breaks (a first for me). I know it’s not much, but it’s the first time since I started Crossfit that I was able to run 400m non-stop. Little victories! What was even more amazing is that I managed to repeat my new PR for the other 2 rounds left! Proud as punch!

  • 40 DUs. I was lucky that Tracey decided to go to a later WOD today and although I was saddened at not being able to WOD with her, that also meant I was able to borrow her jump rope. Mine still hasn’t arrived (it is currently stuck at Customs Canada). I had to take my Nanos off as the rope kept getting stuck under my heels. I did my DUs in my socks only. It was painfully (seriously painful, whip marks all over the back of my legs) slow, but we managed to do 2 of our rounds before Bo had to leave for work. I started my 3rd round and while Mark did his 3rd, I offered to do 120 singles to make up for Bo’s missing round, but Mark was already on his way, well above the required 40 DUs and he did 80 in total so we wouldn’t forfeit the Rx. We finished in 41:20, last and well into the 0700 class.

 

I’m glad the boys stuck it out with me and agreed to have a slower time so I could Rx this one. Getting a little stronger every day and having the chance to challenge myself and push my limits is the only way I will improve. I came home and had some snuggles with Béa. Funny how she can be impossible to live with at bed time and the happiest baby when she wakes up!

Post shower cuddles, I'm still beet red in the face from the WOD

Post shower cuddles. I’m still beet red in the face from the WOD

The B-Monster at her best!

The B-Monster at her best!

 

 

It’s All A Mind Game

After only sleeping for 3 hrs yesterday (post night shift) I was looking forward to a longer night of sleep. When 0500 (aka WOD o’clock) came rolling around, it felt like I could have just rolled over and forget about working out so easily. Instead, I got up and dragged myself to the box.

Skill: Front Squat 7×1 E2M

I was going into this hoping to get 105-110# (my previous PR was 105#, back in January). Thanks to my poor math skills at 0600, I surpassed that  and achieved a new PR of 115#! :) I did my reps as follows:

80#-85#-95# (skipped 90# because I can’t count my plates right early in the morning!) -100#-105#-110#-115#

WOD: Intervohs

I thought I had done this WOD back in May, but it turns out I hadn’t, so this was my 1st attempt at it. To be honest, I didn’t know what I was gonna do for this one. OHS are tough and my thinking was the following: Do them at 45#, so you can snatch them and do the RKBS at 35# for each round. Coach Caleb came by and asked me what I was gonna do. I explained my logic to him and he said to go heavier. He said something along those lines:

It’s better to go higher in your weight and clean and jerk it than lower and snatch it. You can always work on the strength to snatch it later once you’re used to having the heavier weight overhead. I think you can do 55#. It’s just mind-set. Brace your core, look straight ahead because the minute you waver back or forth, the bar will drop as well. Just get in the zone and stay there.

I love how, lately, Coach Caleb has been there every time I needed him to be. He gives me good advice and pushes me without putting me in danger of hurting myself.

I started round 1 at 55#, fell on my butt after attempting the 3rd rep. I picked the bar up again and finished my 2 reps, then moved onto the RKBS I finished with only 24s to spare. I was able to string all my OHS without stopping on round 2 and finished that round with 51s to spare. On my 3rd rep of round 3, my left wrist was becoming pretty painful and I stopped with a groan. Coach Caleb came by, we assessed that I shouldn’t push it today since I don’t have wrist bands and I went on to the RKBS. We also decided to do all the other rounds with 6 front squats instead of the 4 OHS. I managed all 8 rounds and finished with a combined time of 1:42 (slowest time was 1:06 and fastest was 0:36) and we figured out that I did a modified version of TG+.

Afterwards, Coach Caleb came by and re-affirmed that I could have done all rounds at 55#, I have the shoulder strength and mobility, but I need to improve my wrist strength or try it with wrist wraps.

Here’s my question to you:

Do you use wrist wraps? If so, what brand and would you recommend them?

Now, I have to go be a mom and a landlord (yes, we have a tenant for our basement suite and she’s coming today to finalize the details!) :)

Technical Difficulties

Yesterday, I was super excited about the WOD. Today, I woke up and all I wanted to do was roll over and go back to sleep. It took a lot for me to actually get out of bed and get ready to go to the box. Once there, I couldn’t stop yawning while I was warming up, not a good omen… (Technical difficulty #1)

Skill: Deadlift 7×1 E2M

I have just PR’d at 155# on this lift on July 28, so I wasn’t expecting a big increase. I wanted to try 160#, maybe 165#. The game changer today was that we also had to control the descent of the deadlift, we couldn’t just drop the bar once the deadlift was completed, we had to lower it slowly and safely. I managed to get the bar up at 160#, but I couldn’t hold on to it on the way down. Technically, it’s still a PR for my deadlift today, but I didn’t complete it Rx (technical difficulty #2).

WOD: Wassup

This was a repeat WOD, but I had never done it before, so it was my 1st attempt at it today. Knowing that I had just started to do wall balls at 14# and had to do buy-in for the DU, I opted to do the FG1:

  • 5 attempts at DU before I could go for the 2 x Rx number. That means I had to attempt 5 DU before I did single skips, but I went after double the amount of DU. My rounds were 100-80-60-40-20 single skips, but I could only start the single skips after my 5 attempts at DU. I got anywhere between 2-4 DU for my 5 attempts and that was ok.
  • 15 x 14# wallballs for every rounds (total of 75 wallballs)

I finished in 15:14 and I’m pretty sure I could have done a little better with my own rope (I ordered it and am anxiously awaiting for it to arrive!) as I had to switch ropes in the middle of my 1st round. The rope I had kept twisting on itself and making it impossible to skip at all. I lost some time getting a new top and tying knots in it to shorten it to my ideal height (technical difficulty #3).

After I was done, Coach Caleb told me I had some decent welts on the back of my legs. At least, it shows I really tried for the DU! ;)

Not an easy feat to take a selfie of the back of your legs! See those whip marks? DU, I will conquer you!

Not an easy feat to take a selfie of the back of your legs! See those whip marks? DU, I will conquer you!

By the way, those short shorts used to be tight on me, but nowadays, I can’t wear them at the box anymore because they fall off all the time and they have become my “fat shorts” (the ones I wear when I feel bloated)! :)

I can’t wait to see if having my own rope will make a difference in my quest to achieve DUs! Only time will tell, I guess!

Just Keep Going

OMG!

I don’t know if it was the 5hrs of sleep and being woken up at 0400, or if it was the PR on the front squat, but today’s WOD did my little head in… in a bad way!

Skill: Front Squat 5×5 E2M

I love to squat! I warmed up to start this set at 85# and worked up to 100# on my 4th set, but I was done after that one. My form was getting wonky and therefore, I didn’t do a 5th set, but it was still a PR for my front squats! Yay!

Must squat with perfect form! :)

WOD: Partner Nurwor.

I had done this one once with Tracey and we both did the Airdyne instead of running back in October 2013, and again when I ran in January that we finished in 29:03. I had also done a Mini Nurwor (6 x 300m row, 300m run)

As for today, I was teamed up with Karen and I felt like quitting on the rows so many times on the rows. Once again, I was able to recover during the runs, even running for 350m without stopping on the last 2 rounds, but it was the rows that did me in. We finished in 29:28 this time around and I was not happy with my performance, both physical and mental. This WOD beats me mentally and I struggle every time to finish it. I guess it’s just one more thing to work on. Thank goodness I had my cheering squad telling me to just keep trucking along, just keep moving. That’s what I did and that’s how I got to finish it!

I guess I should just keep working on things then!

I guess I should just keep WODing then!

Sorry, I’m a bit of a Ryan Gosling memes addict! There’s actually a FB page of Ryan Gosling Crossfit memes, if you’re into such a thing (and who wouldn’t be?!?). He’s just so fine to look at! Kind of reminds me of my hubby a bit! :)

(I was gonna post a pic of my hubby on the beach, but I think he would kill me… You’ll just have to take my word for it!)

During the WOD, my left contact lens was bugging me. I had cleaned it before the WOD as is was itchy and it was still bugging me. I tossed it in the garbage post WOD and drove home with just one lens in. After my shower, I opened another new left lens (the one I tossed earlier was brand new) and tried to wear my contact lenses, but it was still hurting me too much to wear them. I took them off, flushed my eye with some saline and waited. The burning pain wasn’t going away, so I made my way to the walk-in clinic.

I don’t have a scratched cornea, but my vision was 20/30 on the left eye WITH my glasses on… Normally, with my glasses, I’m 20/20 on both eyes. So now, I have antibiotic/anti-inflammatory drops to put in today and I need to go back tomorrow if things don’t improve. What a way to end my vacation!